The Timeline, A DJ’s Perspective…

At some point in your planning process you need to sit down and design a timeline for your big day. This is a straightforward task for some, and for others it can be a real challenge. If you hire a professional “day of” coordinator, it is one of their tasks to build the timeline. If chose not to hire this position, then I will help you build the timeline. The photographer may offer their own version, and there are certain things that definitely need to be taken into account with regard to your photography.

The Timeline Should Not be Carved in Stone

The timeline is a guideline for the order of things throughout the day, but once we get rolling, the flow and feel is more important than meeting the goals written on a piece of paper. There are, however, certain thangs that should not be moved. The ceremony start time, dinner service, and the venue specified end time can’t really change. While I have seen dinner be ready to serve early, you don’t want to go to the caterer 5 minutes before service and ask “can you push out by a half hour?”.   Not only would the caterer be frustrated, but the quality of the food could be impacted.

If the photographer is planning to take “golden hour” photos, then check with them ahead of time and see what time of day is best. You can easily lookup sunset time for your date on Google. They usually want that time just before and after the sunset time.  

Other items in the timeline can be moved up or back as necessary to get everything done without disrupting the flow of the event.

The Timeline Does Need to Be Well Thought Out

Even though things change, if we start with a well-crafted timeline then we can avoid some of the stress on your day and your vendors can operate with confidence. Collectively, our goal is making the day happen the way you want. The most common mistake I see when preparing a timeline is not leaving enough time between events. There are a couple of possible reasons for this. The first reason is just not having a clear understanding of how long each part could take. This is where consulting with your hired professionals comes in.  Another reason I see (on occasion) for a rushed timeline is connected to the photographer’s schedule.  If you have a 5:00 ceremony, but your photographer is only staying until 7:00, you may be tempted to rush though all the formalities to get them all captured in pictures. This seldom works. The primary reason this timeline breaks down is because the newlywed couple cannot keep up! It is a long day to start with. You have a lot going on and it is easy to get overwhelmed. It is much beter to make sure you have a workable timeline and your photographer is contracted for the appropriate amount of time.

Sample TimeLine

Here is a typical timeline and below I will discuss each part of it in more detail:

4:00 – Ceremony

4:30 – Cocktail Hour

5:15 – Grand Entrance

5:30 – Dinner

6:15 – Toasts

6:35 – Shoe Game (or other game)

7:00 – Cake

7:20 – First Dance followed by Parent Dances

7:30 – Open Dancing

9:45 – Last Dance

9:50 – Grand Sendoff

10:00 Music off, cleanup begins

Explanations:

Overall – This timeline is 6 hours in total. I find that to be a very good length. 5 hours can seem rushed. 7 hours is fine, but longer than that and your guests start to get restless and you will see your crowd thinning out before the end.

Ceremony – It is very common for the ceremony to start 5 to 10 minutes after the published time. People are just late. If you publish 4:00, count on 4:10. Most ceremonies are 10 to 15 minutes in length. If you have professional clergy as your officiant, it can go longer. Talk to your officiant about what to expect when it comes to ceremony length.

Cocktail Hour – This is completely up to you, but is often influenced by any family pictures you are planning after the ceremony. 45 minutes is common. Talk to your photographer about your shot list and how long they think it will take. Then add 15 minutes. If you want an overall timeline that is shorter than 6 hours, this is one place you can cut some time.

Grand Entrance – Sometime after picture taking is concluded it is time for your entrance. It does not take very long, but there are a few minutes of staging and preparation. Some couples want to relax for a few minutes after pictures, others want to get out to the reception and start mingling.

Dinner – Usually I (or your coordinator) check with the caterers to make sure dinner is still good for the planned time. The amount of time you need to allot for dinner, before moving on to toasts, depends on several factors. Keep in mind that you want all guests through the buffet before the speakers start. People can still be eating, we just want everyone seated. Factors that influence this include the number of guests, what is on the menu, and how the caterers are serving it. The difference between feeding 100 people versus 250 is dramatic. A dinner where all items are ready to dish up is faster than if each guest needs to take some action.  A double sided buffet is faster than a single sided buffet. For example, a double sided buffet serving salad, bread, mac n cheese, mashed potatoes, chicken and fish, where the guests just have to scoop it onto their plate, can accommodate 120 guests in about 30 minutes. A taco bar, where each guest is building their taco along the way can take an hour for the same size crowd. I have seen a taco truck take an hour and half for 100 guests. Start with a minimum of 45 minutes for dinner and to it as necessary.

Toasts – I typically allow 20 minutes for toasts. This can easily accommodate the most traditional speaker list of Maid of Honor, Best Man, father of the groom, father of the bride. For a longer list add more time. Make sure to set expectations for allotted time with each of the speakers.

Games – Of you are going to schedule any games, such as shoe game, I recommend placing them after the toasts. The reason is that your guests are still seated and you have their attention. If you let the crowd disperse it can be difficult to get their attention again!  They typically on take 5 or 10 minutes.

Break – Not listed specifically on the timeline, but implied, is that the newlywed couple typically want a 15 minute break at this point.

Cake – After a 15 to 20 minute break it is time to cut the cake. Some things to consider here. If you are having a full size traditional cake,  then it will take some time for the catering staff to plate the slices for the guests. If this is the case then you go into the special dances pretty quick and the cake will be ready when the dances are over. If you are following the more recent trend of having a small cake for cutting and a dessert bar or your guests, then you want to allow 20 minutes after the cutting before special dances. This allows your guests time to get through any line and enjoy their dessert.

First Dance – The special dances including first dance and parent dances don’t take very long. An allowance of 10 minutes is plenty unless you add in the “money dance”. That can take up to 5 songs.

Open Dancing – This timeline allows for 2 hours and 15 minutes of open dancing. This is typically enough. Of course this is what absorbs the major changes to the time line, so you may end up with a little longer or shorter dance period.  Bouquet and garter toss are done during this time.

Last Dance – We schedule a final dance song so that the guests know the event is ending. The timeline allows 5 minutes for this.

Grand Sendoff – If you are doing a grand sendoff, then we reserve the final 10 minutes to get everyone organized prior to the sendoff. We need to allow time so that the music can be off when the venue specifies that it should be off. Going long on the music can get the venue in hot water with their neighbors!

Notes to keep in mind:

1.      The number one reason that the timeline slips is that the newlywed couple is having a good time and is not ready to move on to the next item. This is perfectly fine. During the course of the evening I will come to you and say, for instance, “It is time for the first dance in 5 minutes”. You may say “give us 10 more minutes” as you visit with friends and family. That is perfectly fine. However, I may come back and urge you to go ahead with the next item if it is dragging out too long. If the light is fading and the photographer is impacted I may get more insistent!

2.      You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Isn’t that good news! It is your day! If the timeline says play the shoe game but you just don’t feel like it, then just tell me so. This happens a lot with the bouquet toss.

3.      If some unforeseen circumstance arises that impacts the sequence and timing of events, then your vendors will work together to come up with the necessary plan revisions and then let you know what is happening. For instance, I have seen a few times where the cake was suffering from the heat and we decided the cake needed to be cut sooner rather than later!

4.      Variations are awesome! This is just an example of a typical timeline. You can change the order of things to suit your wishes. Sometimes the couple goes right into their first dance immediately following the grand entrance. If dinner is served plated that changes things up a bit and toasts can be after salads. Sometimes the couple waits to cut the cake until midway through dancing. Your day is a blank canvas, make it your own!